I will never hear the end of it. I will never escape the fate of prejudice. I will always face hatred with lack of intelligence. My mind has been raped by the absence of human development. Because I am black; an uneducated nigger. The reason for horrific treatment thoughts so bitter, that they will not sit next to me on a full subway. Am more hated than rain on a school work-filled Monday. It doesn't matter that I appreciate language. It doesn't matter that I don't believe in hatred. It only matters that my pigment is altered from your erroneous standards and assumptions that you're smarter. I am always accused of inevitable stupidity, but I don't retaliate your ignorant inaccuracies. We are shaped by culture and not by color.
For some, my being black is no better than being a murderer. Oh, yes, I'll steal your belongings; I am always poor and hungry, living in the ghetto of some violent Negro city. I am so sad and desperate and deserving of your pity. It's the 21st century, not the fucking 1950s! And I am a woman, made for the kitchen. To be seen and not heard, my thoughts not to be spoken. United we stand, behind the man, for my words are worthless, you must understand. My hormones make me crazy and not qualified for leadership, I show too much emotion.
I've got to put on my party dress and accept your prejudice. Since when do my ovaries control my sanity? And how come my breasts cause public calamity? According to you, all men are created equal; except coloreds, gays and women aren't people! Gays. Those vibrant people God told you to hate. That god-awful "choice" that they chose to make. Because I most definitely want to live with world-wide discrimination. I certainly never wish to fall in love and get married.
No, I don't want children share my love with. Happiness? Why would I want it? I address equality with sarcastic undertone because I shouldn't need to debate this; fairness is not something one earns. I should be born into this country with equal opportunity, freedom to love, and contribute to humanity. Exempt from people too frightened to accept the millions of humans who are not like them.
When you call me nigger, squint, tyranny, dyke, because you're afraid to understand my way of life, I turn my pity on you. You must live under a rock with nothing to do except bully and torture and kill citizens with views dissimilar to you. Humanity is barbaric, savage, uncivilized, inhuman, boorish, primitive, vulgar, and pugnacious. I am not proud to be a part of this nation.
I am reduced to a second class citizen. I am not a straight, white man with a wealthy reputation. But I can offer peace and love to anyone who needs it. Even to a sexist, a homophone or a racist. I shall giggle at your idiocy in hopes that you learn something from me.
You have the right to hate me but you have no right to hurt me. We have freedom of speech and slurs of profanity. But I am above this. I am above detestation. But allow me my sadness and restless frustration.-Lisetanne Scherschel
Recently, I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport as the daughter's departure had been announced. Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said: I love you and I wish you enough.
The daughter replied, Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom. They kissed and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I sat. Standing there, I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking, Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever? Yes, I have, I replied. Forgive me for asking but why is this a forever good-bye?
I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is the next trip back will be for my funeral, she said. When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, I wish you enough." May I ask what that means? She began to smile. That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone. She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more.
When we said 'I wish you enough' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them". Then turning toward me, she shared the following, reciting it from memory,
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.
She then began to cry and walked away.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person. An hour to appreciate them. A day to love them. And an entire life to forget them. Be Blessed Of Divine Light.
