WORDS FROM A FATHER TO A SON ABOUT MARRIAGE.!

1. My son, if you keep spending on a woman and she never asked you if you’re saving or investing, and she keeps enjoying the attention, don’t marry her.

2. My son, a woman could be a good wife to you, some could be a good mother to your children but if you've found a woman like a mother to you, your children and your family, please don’t let her go.

3. My son, don’t confine the position of your wife to the kitchen, where did you get that from? Even in our days, we had farm-lands where they worked every morning . . . that was our office.

4. My son, if I tell you that you’re the head of the house, don’t look at your pocket; look if you will see a smile on your wife’s face.

5. My son, if you want to have a long life, let your wife be in-charge of your salary, it will be difficult for her to spend it when she’s aware of the home needs and bills to pay but if it’s in your care, she will keep you asking even when all has been spent.

6. My son, don’t ever beat your woman, the pain in her body is nothing to be compared to the wound on her heart and that means you may be in trouble living with a wounded woman.

7. My son, now that you’re married, if you live a bachelor kind of life with your wife, you will soon be single again.

8. My son, in our days, we had many wives and many children because of our large farm-lands and many harvests, there are hardly any land for farming anymore, so embrace your woman closely.

9. My son, under the cocoa tree that I did meet your mother could be your eateries and restaurants of nowadays, but remember, the closet thing we did there was to embrace each other.

10. My son, don’t be carried away when you start making more money, instead of spending on those tiny legs that never knew how hard you worked to get it, spend it on that woman that stood by you all along.

11. My son, when I threw little stones or whistled at the window of your mother father’s house, to call her out, it was not for sex, it was because I missed her so much.

12. My son, remember, when you say your wife has changed, there could be something you’ve stopped doing too.

13. My son, your mother, Asake rode the bicycle with me before I bought that tortoise car outside there, any woman that won’t endure with you in your little beginning should not enjoy your riches.

14. My son, don’t compare your wife to any woman, there are ways she’s enduring you too and has she ever compared you to any man?

15. My son, there is this thing you people call feminism, well, if a woman claim to have equal right with you in the house, divide all the bills into two equal parts, take one part and ask her to start paying the other part.

16. My son, I met your mother a virgin and I took more yams to her father, if you don’t meet your wife a virgin, don’t blame her, what I didn’t tell you is that our women had prestige.

17. My son, I didn’t send your sisters to school because I was foolish like many to think a female child won’t extend my family name, please don’t make that mistake, the kind of female achievers I see nowadays has made the male-gender an ordinary tag.

18. My son, your mother have once locked up the cloth I was wearing and almost tore it because she was angry, I did not raise my hand to beat her because of a day like this, so that I can be proud to tell you that I never for once beat your mother.

19. My son, in our days, our women had more of natural beauty, though I wouldn't lie to you, some had minor painting of their appellation mostly on their arms, the ones you people now call tattoo, but don’t forget that they didn't expose any part of their body like your women of nowadays.

20. My son, your mother and I are not interested in what happens in your marriage, try to handle issues without always coming to us.

21. My son, remember I bought your mother’s first sewing machine for her, help your wife achieve her dreams just as you’re pursuing yours.

22. My son, don’t stop taking care of me and your mother, it’s a secret of growing old and having children to take care of you too.

23. My son, pray with your family, there is a tomorrow you don’t know, talk to God that knows everything, everyday. A word is Enough for D Wise.!!

I Will Never Hear The End Of It. I Will Never Escape The Fate Of Prejudice.

I will never hear the end of it. I will never escape the fate of prejudice. I will always face hatred with lack of intelligence. My mind has been raped by the absence of human development. Because I am black; an uneducated nigger. The reason for horrific treatment thoughts so bitter, that they will not sit next to me on a full subway. Am more hated than rain on a school work-filled Monday. It doesn't matter that I appreciate language. It doesn't matter that I don't believe in hatred. It only matters that my pigment is altered from your erroneous standards and assumptions that you're smarter. I am always accused of inevitable stupidity, but I don't retaliate your ignorant inaccuracies. We are shaped by culture and not by color. 

For some, my being black is no better than being a murderer. Oh, yes, I'll steal your belongings; I am always poor and hungry, living in the ghetto of some violent Negro city. I am so sad and desperate and deserving of your pity. It's the 21st century, not the fucking 1950s! And I am a woman, made for the kitchen. To be seen and not heard, my thoughts not to be spoken. United we stand, behind the man, for my words are worthless, you must understand. My hormones make me crazy and not qualified for leadership, I show too much emotion. 

I've got to put on my party dress and accept your prejudice. Since when do my ovaries control my sanity? And how come my breasts cause public calamity? According to you, all men are created equal; except coloreds, gays and women aren't people! Gays. Those vibrant people God told you to hate. That god-awful "choice" that they chose to make. Because I most definitely want to live with world-wide discrimination. I certainly never wish to fall in love and get married. 

No, I don't want children share my love with. Happiness? Why would I want it? I address equality with sarcastic undertone because I shouldn't need to debate this; fairness is not something one earns. I should be born into this country with equal opportunity, freedom to love, and contribute to humanity. Exempt from people too frightened to accept the millions of humans who are not like them. 

When you call me nigger, squint, tyranny, dyke, because you're afraid to understand my way of life, I turn my pity on you. You must live under a rock with nothing to do except bully and torture and kill citizens with views dissimilar to you. Humanity is barbaric, savage, uncivilized, inhuman, boorish, primitive, vulgar, and pugnacious. I am not proud to be a part of this nation. 

I am reduced to a second class citizen. I am not a straight, white man with a wealthy reputation. But I can offer peace and love to anyone who needs it. Even to a sexist, a homophone or a racist. I shall giggle at your idiocy in hopes that you learn something from me. 

You have the right to hate me but you have no right to hurt me. We have freedom of speech and slurs of profanity. But I am above this. I am above detestation. But allow me my sadness and restless frustration.-Lisetanne Scherschel

"I WISH YOU ENOUGH"

Recently, I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport as the daughter's departure had been announced. Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said: I love you and I wish you enough.
The daughter replied, Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom. They kissed and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I sat. Standing there, I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking, Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever? Yes, I have, I replied. Forgive me for asking but why is this a forever good-bye?

I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is the next trip back will be for my funeral, she said. When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, I wish you enough." May I ask what that means? She began to smile. That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone. She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more.

When we said 'I wish you enough' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them". Then turning toward me, she shared the following, reciting it from memory,

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.
She then began to cry and walked away.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person. An hour to appreciate them. A day to love them. And an entire life to forget them. Be Blessed Of Divine Light.

God Keeps On Loving Us At Just Those Times We Think He Should Have Given Up On Us.!

God keeps on loving us at just those times we think he should have given up on us. Like the father in Jesus’ story – the father kept on waiting and watching out for his son to return. He kept on loving him in spite of the hurt that he had caused his father. 

And when the son returned expecting to be treated at best as a servant, the son was amazed as his father tucked his robes under his arm and without shame ran down the road to greet his son and welcome him with open arms. He replaced his son’s dirty clothes that smelt like a pigsty with new clothes and shoes. He gave him a ring to indicate his restoration to the family as a son. The father was so overjoyed at his son’s return that he ordered that a lavish feast be held in his honor.

Now that’s love for you. The father still loved his son even though he didn't deserve that kind of a welcome. The father had never given up on his son, his love had never faltered as he waited looking down the road for just a glimpse of his son. The father didn't even put conditions on his son’s restoration to the family. If you do this or that then you can come home. No, he loved him and welcomed him unconditionally. He was prepared to take the chance. You might say he was prepared to take the gamble and trusted his wayward son even though the son hadn't done anything to prove his genuineness. The father was prepared to take this chance because he loved his son and forgave him.

Then there is the other older son who grizzled that his younger brother had been welcomed back with such enthusiasm. Look how the father loved him! He could do nothing but run down his younger brother down, in fact, he doesn't even regard him as a brother but "that son of yours". His brother hasn't done anything to deserve his father’s love and this magnificent feast. In fact, he deserves to be tossed out for the way he treated his father.!

Mother And Daughter.!!

Mother and daughter relationships are complex because the daughter looks to her mother as a role model of what a woman is. As she grows up and sees other woman who live their lives differently, she chooses between imitating her mother or other significant influences in her life.

 As an adolescent she may come to look down on her mother and think that other woman are much better. Of course she is not a fully grown woman so she does not understand the challenges and choices that her mother faces. It is only when she herself becomes a woman that she can fully appreciate her mother.!

Don't worry about growing up enjoy the life you have. You have plenty of time to get there.!

Forget about what others are doing. Stop looking at where they are and what they have. Nobody is doing better than you because nobody can do better than you. you are walking your own path. Sometimes the reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes circumstances with everyone else public highlight reel. We listen to the noise of the world, instead of ourselves. So stop the comparisons! Ignore the distractions. Listen to your own inner voice. Mind your own business.

Keep your best wishes and your biggest goals close to your heart and dedicate time to them every day. Don’t be scared to walk alone, and don’t be scared to enjoy it. Don’t let anyone’s ignorance, drama, or negativity stop you from being the best you can be. Keep doing what you know in your heart is right, for you. Because when you are focused on meaningful work and at peace within yourself, almost nothing can shake you.

When you are content to simply be yourself, without comparing and competing to impress others, everyone worthwhile will respect you. And even more importantly, you will respect yourself. How are you letting others define you? What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? Truth be told, no one has the right to judge you. People may have heard your stories, and they may think they know you, but they can’t feel what you are going through; they aren't living YOUR life. So forget what they think and say about you. Focus on how you feel about yourself, and keep walking the path that feels best under your feet.

Those who accept you are your friends. Those who don’t are your teachers. If someone calls you something and it’s true, it’s not your problem because it’s true. If someone calls you something and it’s not true, it’s not your problem because it’s not true. Either way, whatever they call you is not your problem. What other people call you is their problem. What you call yourself, and who you decide to become, is your problem. Unhappiness lies in that gap between what we have now and what we think we need. But the truth is, we don’t need to acquire anything more to be content with what we already have.

We don’t need anyone else permission to be happy. Your life is magnificent not because someone says it is, or because you have acquired something new, but because you choose to see it as such. Don’t let your happiness be held hostage. It is always yours to choose, to live and experience. We have all been hurt by our own decisions and by others, and while the pain of these experiences is normal, sometimes it lingers for too long.

Feelings of resentment urge us to relive the same pain over and over, and we have a hard time letting go. Forgiveness is the remedy. It allows you to focus on the future without combating the past. To understand the infinite potential of everything going forward is to forgive everything already behind you. Without forgiveness, wounds can never be healed and personal growth can never be achieved. It doesn't mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened. It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.

So don’t bend, don't water it down, don't try to hide the truth with deception. Don’t edit your own soul according to the fashion of what’s popular. It is better to offer no explanation or excuse than a false one. It takes courage and strength to admit the truth, but it is the only way to truly live. Accept what is, embrace it fully, and live for the possibilities that lie ahead.-Bikonu-Nwabu-Ndolili-Life Na Jeje.!

The density of people in society is so thick that, we forget that life will end one day. & we don't know when that one day will be

One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.it took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual. On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. 'Really?' she heard whispered. I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!' and, 'I didn't know others liked me so much,' were most of the comments. No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose.

The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.Several years later, one of the students was killed in Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before.

He looked so handsome, so mature.the church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin. As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. 'Were you Mark's math teacher?' he asked. She nodded: 'yes.' Then he said Mark talked about you a lot.' after the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon.

Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher. We want to show you something,' his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket 'They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.' Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him. thank you so much for doing that,' Mark's mother said. 'As you can see, Mark treasured it.

All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, 'I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home.Chuck's wife said, 'Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album.i have mine too,' Marilyn said. 'It's in my diary.then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. 'I carry this with me at all times,' Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: 'I think we all saved our lists' that's when the teacher finally sat down and cried.

She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.the density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be.So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.!

BELIEVE IN ANGELS, THEN RETURN THE FAVOR.!

Touching story.
 As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.
 Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant.
 It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at the top of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise. Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... he is a joy to be around.."

His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle." His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."

Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class." By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper That he got from a grocery bag Mrs.

Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume.. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to." After the children left, she cried for at least an hour.

On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's pets.."

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling* her that she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in life. Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer.... The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.

The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom.

Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together. They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you Mrs. Thompson for* believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference."

Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you." (For you that don't know, Teddy Stoddard is the Dr. at Iowa Methodist Hospital in Des Moines that has the Stoddard Cancer Wing.) Warm someone's heart today. . . pass this along. I love this story so very much, I cry every time I read it. Just try to make a difference in someone's life today? tomorrow? Just "do it". Random acts of kindness, I think they call it?

"Believe in Angels, then return the favor."

Happiness Is Fleeting. True Joy Comes From Within.

We are happy when things go the way that we want them to, when we accomplish something, when we achieve a goal, when we win a game in a competition, or win a promotion. When things do not go the way that we want them to we are unhappy. When we do not get what we want and expect, we become disappointed and feel down.

Happiness is fleeting. It cannot be sustained, because it is dependent upon circumstances to change to what we want them to change to and once we get what we want, if we get what we want, happiness is felt and then it dies, because it has been fulfilled; so, in order to feel happiness again we must set another goal, which requires circumstances to change for the better, where we ultimately achieve our goal.

Our thoughts create happiness. Happiness is an emotion—a byproduct of our thinking. Happiness is not stationary. It is always moving. We’re happy one minute and then were unhappy the next. We may even achieve a goal and become happy, but during those feelings of happiness we may get unwelcomed news about something that upsets us and then we are no longer happy. Our focus on accomplishing and achieving the goal is now turned towards the problem that upset us.

Joy is naturally within us, regardless of what happens in our lives. There are no expectations for happiness, but a complete acceptance for All That Is, which includes when things go our way and when things do not go our way. We are ok, either way. Joy is experienced when the mental chatter of the mind is silenced and we are at peace. The mind covers up the natural joy that is inside of you, if you let it.

You must release all attachments—to other people, to material objects, to expectations, and to outcomes. This does not mean that you have to stop pursuing goals. You can have goals, just do not get attached to the outcome of those goals, expecting for them to make you happy. You will only get a temporary, fleeting feeling of happiness when you achieve a goal. Enjoy the process of pursuing a goal, instead of focusing on the outcome. The goal is easier to achieve when you enjoy each moment, the day-to-day process of taking action towards achieving the goal.

We tend to push happiness off as a destination to reach in the future, when we have joy available to us right in the here and now. All that is needed is to release all negative thoughts and perceptions that take us away from feeling our natural joy. The more at peace you are within, the more you will be able to experience true joy. Going within and being consciously aware of what you are thinking, on a regular basis, will help you to change your thoughts to more positive ones and to drop the ones that are of no use to you and that only bring you down. Life is a joy that is lived in each moment, where time is not a factor and there are no expectations.

LOVE BUILD ON SYMPATHY, IS NOTHING BUT A WEAK FOUNDATION.!

Don't force anyone to love you cause any love build on sympathy is a weak foundation. I'm glad that I don't fit in your fantasy world. I'm me, take me or not makes no difference bye..No matter what pain you've been through, tears will dry, broken hearts will heal, and somewhere out there the person who truly cares is waiting..A strong woman is one who gets her heart broken time and time again and still has the strength to gather the pieces to create a new life for herself. Remember that no matter what pain you have been through, tears will dry, broken hearts will heal, and somewhere out there the person who truly cares is waiting. you’re a woman and you are strong. Sometimes you meet certain people that can touch your soul in certain ways most people can’t. 
But you have to let them go because you realize that it just isn't the best time in your life for them to come. It seems like you meet the perfect people just when you can't handle them. I have all these feelings - these weird feelings, and I had this burning desire to express them. But I can’t. I just can’t. And these feelings - they’re trapped and they are like stuck in my heart. And I just feel so lonely. Do you know why people hate to admit they are lonely? 
It’s because when you do, everyone thinks that something is wrong with you. They think “I have people in my life, why don’t you?” But the strange thing is, you can have people in your life and still be alone. Because sometimes people do actually feel that way. Sometimes your life feels like it’s caving in on you. Sometimes people really do feel like they don’t want to exist, like they want to just curl up in a ball, and go into that place between life and death. 
Saying “I don’t want to exist” isn't saying “I want to go die”. It’s saying I wish that, for the time being, I could go somewhere and not have to feel. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. And if you don’t know how it feels to feel this way, then you have no place to judge anyone who does. I’m telling you, there’s nothing wrong with being lonely sometimes, it’s okay…you’ll be alright.! 

Job 10:1, My soul is weary of my life; I will leave my complaint upon myself; I will speak in the bitterness of my soul.