The problem with arguments and debates is that many 'Christians' themselves don't know Christ and they spend so much time arguing for their Christian religion without having a first-hand experience of the living and loving Saviour. One of the greatest tricks of the devil is to get Christians wasting their time in arguing and debating with unbelievers. Unbelievers will not understand Christianity, unless God opens their eyes...It gets nowhere because contemporary debate has been conditioned for people to talk past each other, and then wrongly understand and label it as dialogue. I refuse to enter into such debates..It's really unwise for a Christian Bible scholar to have a debate with a Muslim scholar..Because none will give room for others to surpass, it can only lead them to a discussion involving differing points of view. Certainly, there's nothing to debate about the scriptures. Don't argue with the sons of Ismail, cause we are from Abraham not Ismail.!
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Beginning this talk by saying thank you is not just an exercise in protocol. It speaks directly to the theme of this gathering, which is, Spiritual Fitness. Becoming an appreciative person is a top strategy for spiritual fitness.
1. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude. There is a reason that the phrase “count your blessings” is a watchword. We are so blessed in so many ways, yet it is human nature to love to complain and to notice what is lacking rather than what is present. I have this quote in the signature block on my email, from a book called Thank You by Zelig Pliskin- “What could you be grateful for now if you were grateful for something?” There is always something- make sure the balance in your life is more focused on saying “Thank you” than on saying “Please.” . I am going to share with you this morning ten strategies for gaining and maintaining spiritual fitness. Now you know the first one- be grateful. Number two-
2. Be happy unless there is a very serious reason not to be. It is human nature to be dissatisfied and to strive for more and better, and in many areas of our lives this serves us well. If we are dissatisfied with our work, we will try to improve. If we are dissatisfied with disease, we will search for cures. It is critical, however, that we learn to distinguish between what can and what cannot be changed. We only create misery for ourselves when we allow dissatisfaction over what cannot be changed to become an obstacle to our happiness, and miserable people are not spiritually fit people.
3. See yourself and others as the image of God. Jewish Biblical commentators suggest that only one person was created in the Genesis story so that no one can think that he or she is better than others. Each of us has within ourselves a soul that is given to us as a pure spark of the Divine. It is spiritually draining to live with the challenge and disappointment that necessarily comes from living with other people. Chris Cleave put it this way in the book, Little Bee- “There’s eight million people here pretending the others aren’t getting on their nerves. I believe it’s called civilization.” If we can remind ourselves of the essential holiness of each person that we meet, we will become more compassionate and more spiritually fit. This leads us to #4-
4. Let it go. Not everything can or should be an issue. Anger is antithetical to spiritual well-being. Righteous indignation is so tempting and so invigorating. The battle cry of, “But I am right!” is irresistible. There are things worth fighting for, as individuals, and, as we as Soldiers know, as a nation. But we will destroy ourselves if we allow ourselves to be consumed by passion. Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach had to flee Vienna, Austria as a young man. He grew to be an internationally known singer/songwriter, and was invited to return to his home country. People were shocked when he said yes. “Don’t you hate those people?,” they asked. He replied, “If I had two hearts, I would devote one to hating. But, since I only have one heart, I don’t want to poison my own essential being with hatred.” Let it go, #4. And its corollary-
5. Accept imperfection, your own and that of others. Forgiveness is, for many of us, the greatest spiritual challenge of our lives. In The Secret Life of Bees, Sue Monk Kidd writes that “People in general would rather die than forgive. It’s that hard. If God said in plain language, ‘I’m giving you a choice, forgive or die,’ a lot of people would go ahead and order their coffin.” If we can’t or won’t forgive, we will die spiritually- it’s that simple. None of us is perfect, we all require grace and mercy throughout our lives. A little kindness and understanding is the foundation of our spiritual well-being. And- we need to forgive ourselves just as much as we forgive others. Rabbi Harold Kushner says that the four holiest words in the English language are, “I may be wrong.” Practice saying them.
6. Pray. Communication is fundamental in any relationship, and our relationship with God is no different. We should never be shy about asking for what we want and expressing our needs, whether in the words of a traditional liturgy or in the words of our heart. Elizabeth Gilbert expresses this so beautifully in her book, Eat, Pray, Love, where she addresses her main character- “Where do you get the idea you aren’t allowed to petition the universe with prayers? You are part of this universe, Liz. You’re a constituent- you have every entitlement to participate in the actions of the universe, and to let your feelings be known. So put your opinion out there. Make your case. Believe me- it will at least be taken into consideration.” It will at least be taken into consideration, and, as the Jewish sage Moses Maimonides notes, “When you pour out your heart, it feels lighter.” When you’re done praying, think of these words- “Pray as if everything depends on God, act as if everything depends on you.” Prayer is important, but it does not replace our responsibility to act.
7. Develop an understanding of good and evil. The world is full of suffering. None of us escapes pain and many of us experience deep tragedy. Whether we are religious or not, we need to find some way of reconciling why bad things happen to good people, some framework that provides a foundation of peace in times of challenge. The Chinese have an expression, “You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair.” Each of us must seek an answer for ourselves that we find cohesive and meaningful. One way to do this is through #8-
8. Study spiritual teachings. We are not the first ones to ask these questions, and we won’t be the last. Explore the writings of some of the great thinkers who have explored spiritual themes throughout the ages. Subscribe to a website that provides a daily or weekly devotional. We don’t have to forge a path on our own. Wise thinkers have provided guideposts along the way, and we should cultivate the practice of reflection and meditation on their teachings. Rabbi Louis Finkelstein said, ‘When I pray, I speak to God, when I study, God speaks to me. Open yourself to hearing the voice of God.
9. Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy. Okay, so I borrowed this one from that other famous list of 10 commandments. But it’s a good one! God created the world in 6 days and rested on the 7th. Even God needed a day of rest! In our incredibly fast-paced, 24/7, hyper-connected world- even more so! If you’re wondering how you are going to find the time to develop spiritual resilience, remember that time for spiritual reflection and growth is built into the framework of creation itself, if only we would take the notion of Sabbath seriously. Give yourself this gift- you deserve it! Finally-
10. Know that you are God’s Public Affairs Officer. Because you are! If you claim to be a religious person, people are watching your behavior to see what kind of person your religiosity leads you to be. If you are a jerk, it really doesn’t reflect well on your commanding officer. So- be good, do good, let your goodness shine. As the prophet Micah expressed it, “Love goodness.” In every moment of your life you have a choice- will the consequences of your next decision, of your next action, bring holiness into the world, or will it desecrate God’s name? I leave you with this- the choice is in your hands- be a blessing.!
1. My son, if you keep spending on a woman and she never asked you if you’re saving or investing, and she keeps enjoying the attention, don’t marry her.
2. My son, a woman could be a good wife to you, some could be a good mother to your children but if you've found a woman like a mother to you, your children and your family, please don’t let her go.
3. My son, don’t confine the position of your wife to the kitchen, where did you get that from? Even in our days, we had farm-lands where they worked every morning . . . that was our office.
4. My son, if I tell you that you’re the head of the house, don’t look at your pocket; look if you will see a smile on your wife’s face.
5. My son, if you want to have a long life, let your wife be in-charge of your salary, it will be difficult for her to spend it when she’s aware of the home needs and bills to pay but if it’s in your care, she will keep you asking even when all has been spent.
6. My son, don’t ever beat your woman, the pain in her body is nothing to be compared to the wound on her heart and that means you may be in trouble living with a wounded woman.
7. My son, now that you’re married, if you live a bachelor kind of life with your wife, you will soon be single again.
8. My son, in our days, we had many wives and many children because of our large farm-lands and many harvests, there are hardly any land for farming anymore, so embrace your woman closely.
9. My son, under the cocoa tree that I did meet your mother could be your eateries and restaurants of nowadays, but remember, the closet thing we did there was to embrace each other.
10. My son, don’t be carried away when you start making more money, instead of spending on those tiny legs that never knew how hard you worked to get it, spend it on that woman that stood by you all along.
11. My son, when I threw little stones or whistled at the window of your mother father’s house, to call her out, it was not for sex, it was because I missed her so much.
12. My son, remember, when you say your wife has changed, there could be something you’ve stopped doing too.
13. My son, your mother, Asake rode the bicycle with me before I bought that tortoise car outside there, any woman that won’t endure with you in your little beginning should not enjoy your riches.
14. My son, don’t compare your wife to any woman, there are ways she’s enduring you too and has she ever compared you to any man?
15. My son, there is this thing you people call feminism, well, if a woman claim to have equal right with you in the house, divide all the bills into two equal parts, take one part and ask her to start paying the other part.
16. My son, I met your mother a virgin and I took more yams to her father, if you don’t meet your wife a virgin, don’t blame her, what I didn’t tell you is that our women had prestige.
17. My son, I didn’t send your sisters to school because I was foolish like many to think a female child won’t extend my family name, please don’t make that mistake, the kind of female achievers I see nowadays has made the male-gender an ordinary tag.
18. My son, your mother have once locked up the cloth I was wearing and almost tore it because she was angry, I did not raise my hand to beat her because of a day like this, so that I can be proud to tell you that I never for once beat your mother.
19. My son, in our days, our women had more of natural beauty, though I wouldn't lie to you, some had minor painting of their appellation mostly on their arms, the ones you people now call tattoo, but don’t forget that they didn't expose any part of their body like your women of nowadays.
20. My son, your mother and I are not interested in what happens in your marriage, try to handle issues without always coming to us.
21. My son, remember I bought your mother’s first sewing machine for her, help your wife achieve her dreams just as you’re pursuing yours.
22. My son, don’t stop taking care of me and your mother, it’s a secret of growing old and having children to take care of you too.
23. My son, pray with your family, there is a tomorrow you don’t know, talk to God that knows everything, everyday. A word is Enough for D Wise.!!
I will never hear the end of it. I will never escape the fate of prejudice. I will always face hatred with lack of intelligence. My mind has been raped by the absence of human development. Because I am black; an uneducated nigger. The reason for horrific treatment thoughts so bitter, that they will not sit next to me on a full subway. Am more hated than rain on a school work-filled Monday. It doesn't matter that I appreciate language. It doesn't matter that I don't believe in hatred. It only matters that my pigment is altered from your erroneous standards and assumptions that you're smarter. I am always accused of inevitable stupidity, but I don't retaliate your ignorant inaccuracies. We are shaped by culture and not by color.
For some, my being black is no better than being a murderer. Oh, yes, I'll steal your belongings; I am always poor and hungry, living in the ghetto of some violent Negro city. I am so sad and desperate and deserving of your pity. It's the 21st century, not the fucking 1950s! And I am a woman, made for the kitchen. To be seen and not heard, my thoughts not to be spoken. United we stand, behind the man, for my words are worthless, you must understand. My hormones make me crazy and not qualified for leadership, I show too much emotion.
I've got to put on my party dress and accept your prejudice. Since when do my ovaries control my sanity? And how come my breasts cause public calamity? According to you, all men are created equal; except coloreds, gays and women aren't people! Gays. Those vibrant people God told you to hate. That god-awful "choice" that they chose to make. Because I most definitely want to live with world-wide discrimination. I certainly never wish to fall in love and get married.
No, I don't want children share my love with. Happiness? Why would I want it? I address equality with sarcastic undertone because I shouldn't need to debate this; fairness is not something one earns. I should be born into this country with equal opportunity, freedom to love, and contribute to humanity. Exempt from people too frightened to accept the millions of humans who are not like them.
When you call me nigger, squint, tyranny, dyke, because you're afraid to understand my way of life, I turn my pity on you. You must live under a rock with nothing to do except bully and torture and kill citizens with views dissimilar to you. Humanity is barbaric, savage, uncivilized, inhuman, boorish, primitive, vulgar, and pugnacious. I am not proud to be a part of this nation.
I am reduced to a second class citizen. I am not a straight, white man with a wealthy reputation. But I can offer peace and love to anyone who needs it. Even to a sexist, a homophone or a racist. I shall giggle at your idiocy in hopes that you learn something from me.
You have the right to hate me but you have no right to hurt me. We have freedom of speech and slurs of profanity. But I am above this. I am above detestation. But allow me my sadness and restless frustration.-Lisetanne Scherschel
Recently, I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport as the daughter's departure had been announced. Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said: I love you and I wish you enough.
The daughter replied, Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom. They kissed and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I sat. Standing there, I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking, Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever? Yes, I have, I replied. Forgive me for asking but why is this a forever good-bye?
I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is the next trip back will be for my funeral, she said. When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, I wish you enough." May I ask what that means? She began to smile. That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone. She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more.
When we said 'I wish you enough' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them". Then turning toward me, she shared the following, reciting it from memory,
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.
She then began to cry and walked away.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person. An hour to appreciate them. A day to love them. And an entire life to forget them. Be Blessed Of Divine Light.
God keeps on loving us at just those times we think he should have given up on us. Like the father in Jesus’ story – the father kept on waiting and watching out for his son to return. He kept on loving him in spite of the hurt that he had caused his father.
And when the son returned expecting to be treated at best as a servant, the son was amazed as his father tucked his robes under his arm and without shame ran down the road to greet his son and welcome him with open arms. He replaced his son’s dirty clothes that smelt like a pigsty with new clothes and shoes. He gave him a ring to indicate his restoration to the family as a son. The father was so overjoyed at his son’s return that he ordered that a lavish feast be held in his honor.
Now that’s love for you. The father still loved his son even though he didn't deserve that kind of a welcome. The father had never given up on his son, his love had never faltered as he waited looking down the road for just a glimpse of his son. The father didn't even put conditions on his son’s restoration to the family. If you do this or that then you can come home. No, he loved him and welcomed him unconditionally. He was prepared to take the chance. You might say he was prepared to take the gamble and trusted his wayward son even though the son hadn't done anything to prove his genuineness. The father was prepared to take this chance because he loved his son and forgave him.
Then there is the other older son who grizzled that his younger brother had been welcomed back with such enthusiasm. Look how the father loved him! He could do nothing but run down his younger brother down, in fact, he doesn't even regard him as a brother but "that son of yours". His brother hasn't done anything to deserve his father’s love and this magnificent feast. In fact, he deserves to be tossed out for the way he treated his father.!
Mother and daughter relationships are complex because the daughter
looks to her mother as a role model of what a woman is. As she grows up
and sees other woman who live their lives differently, she chooses
between imitating her mother or other significant influences in her
life.
As an adolescent she may come to look down on her mother and think
that other woman are much better. Of course she is not a fully grown
woman so she does not understand the challenges and choices that her
mother faces. It is only when she herself becomes a woman that she can
fully appreciate her mother.!
